The Black Sheep Felt Left Out?

The black sheep was never accepted by the other sheep. Always different and not included. That sheep must have been pretty lonely everyday. Why does being left out make the walls around me smaller? Why can't I ever fit in with the people I'm most comfortable with? Always watching and observing others in their own little world of happiness, but never the one who gets to join in. Acceptance. Happiness. Involved. Why do those words sound unfamiliar to me? I wonder sometimes.......How everything and everyone would move forward without me. Being behind the glass where no one would notice me and just keep moving on. What would it be like if I wasn't welcomed into this world? Maybe things wouldn't change if I weren't alive.



Remembering The Past Is Painful, Isn't It?

Why can't all good memories be remembered for the happiness instead of the pain? The past hits me like a thousand buses and I suddenly remember all the times when I was happy and just didn't care about anything....But along with the past, comes the realization that I'll never get to experience those kind of "good memories" ever again. Sometimes, I wish I can disappear along with the past and just do nothing or just to be forgotten. What happened to that girl who could just move on with life without taking a step back and just be happy that the future is on its way? Why can't good memories just stay as good memories? Remembering hurts more than moving forward.



Feeling Trapped?

There's a girl. She's locked in a dark room with nowhere to go. She has nothing to do except face that large door which blocks her from the outside world; reality. After staring at the door continuously, she continues to shout, "Let me out! Let me out! LET ME OUT!". She finds her countless shouts futile and doesn't know what to do or expect. Tears stream down her face as she continuously cries and cries. All she can do is cry in loneliness and shout in anger, waiting to be let out. She realizes she won't ever be able to get out of the darkness. But she begins thinking that someone is out there for some odd reason. Talking to the door, she says,"I know you're out there. One day I'll get out of this miserable place and express what I feel in rage and destroy everything out there. Especially you. You'll feel my pain and wish you never locked me in this room. It was nice talking to you whoever you are." Who may you ask that has locked her in that room? I am the one who locked the girl in the room.

Why does one's existence matter so much?

Lately, people's existences have been making me confused and wonder why they are so important. Why am I thinking of this? I don't know. But I just want to know what makes one's existence so special that you worry or feel for. If that one's existence is so important, can't they just put up a wall and block out the whole world and still be important. The fact that they are there makes it better even if they simply don't care? There's one's existence that I've been confused about for a while and it's been getting to me lately where I don't even know what to feel anymore but darkness and loneliness. These confusions have been hurting me emotionally and physically where I wonder if it will ever stop. Will it ever stop?

Ever Had The Feeling You Just Don't Belong?

Being out of place or a place where I don't belong is what I'm feeling these days. There are times when something just switched "OFF" to my brain where I completely shut down from the world. Why does this feeling hurt me so much? Why does this feeling come around when I'm around my closest friends? My closest friends mean the world to me yet I just can't help but to feel that I don't belong. The feeling of loneliness and darkness suddenly surrounds me when I think these thoughts. I don't know which hurts me more....the fact that I feel like I don't belong or the fact that it's with everyone I care about.



Why Are Emotions Shown Differently?

Tears. Laughter. Smiles. Glares. Screams. Scowls. From what I see, emotions are usually expressed like this. Weirdly enough, not all the time. Sometimes people express their emotions in various ways that I'm curious about. Why express your emotions otherwise from what they really mean?How does violence, drugs, and suicide help express your emotions? My curious mind has no clue but many others know how and don't want to explain why. It must be tough expressing your emotions in a way you're comfortable with. Of course, I'm one of those who doesn't know how to express my emotions.

 

How Will I Ever Know?

Love. To like. Crush. Do they mean or relate to the same thing because I clearly don't know. When will I ever know the difference between those words. I've been told that I'm confused between liking someone and just noticing their looks. I've been asked so many questions relating to love and now I can only answer "I don't know". What is love anyway? I've finally reached the point where I can honestly say "I don't know". It hurts watching those who actually know and understand what love is when I question it everyday. When will it be my time to fully understand love? How will I know when I "feel" love? Why am I so confused now? Why? My friend gave me an answer to at least head me in the direction with one of her original quotes: "We have to experience to fully know life's situations".

What Do Blank Stares Show?

Blank stares are usually given when you're in deep thought, right? But what does it show toward others around you? Anger.Sadness.Pain. These are answers that people usually see when the blank stare is given. Even though the deep thoughts could be about happiness or the bright future, people will always think blank stares show a visage of anger, sadness, or pain. Why? What if I just have nothing to say but to just want to be in deep thought for some random reason. Do emotions show in blank stares? These countless questions could be endless so I'll just end it here.

 

Why Are Shadows So Perfect?

Shadows. The darkness of my reflection that follows me everywhere and is there no matter what. Why is it that shadows are so flawless? Details.Flaws.Imperfection. Words that would never apply to a shadow for it's lack of vibrant details. Why can't I be my shadow? There would be no details to scrutinize so closely that it would make me ashamed and hide my flaws. Through my eyes, shadows will ALWAYS  be perfect. They could live without a care and be free to do whatever they want. They could care less about the problems and emotions I'm going through and just toss them aside like nothing ever happened. Shadows are now my enemy and also whom I envy everyday.

Curiosity = Wanting Answers

Why does curiosity affect me so much?>.< I keep tending to overthink too many things that pop into my head. I always wonder "what if.." or "why" to anything that comes into mind and it's exhusting-.-. I simply don't know what's reality and what's my imagination that comes from my curiosity. Does that mean I'm stuck in the middle? Everything should have an answser but for me that's never the case. When I started writing this, I thought it would relieve me but now I feel pathetic and even more curious.

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