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Why?

 Why is it like this?
 Why does it have to be so tiring?
 Why is everything crumbling down from my world?
 Why?
 I thought the closer we got, the friendship would last longer. Was I wrong? Was it me who pushed them away? I don't know anymore. Even so, I blame everything on ME. Maybe if I changed, things would get better?
What is happiness? I ask myself that everyday. The only reason I ever dare to wake up every morning is to wake up to the sun and feels its warmth that I've slowly been losing. Sometimes I wish I could never wake up from my sleep.
Would they even care if I no longer existed? Would it be worth worrying over for them? I wish I could be the Sun. I dream to be that big ball of everlasting energy that I wake up to every morning.
"Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves
And Immortality."
--Emily Dickinson

Why Not Just Speak Up?

You say you're loved,

     you're not.

You say you love everyone,

     you don't.

You say you're cool,

     you're not.

You say you're a great student in school,

     you don't care.

You say you have many friends,
 
     you don't.

You say you don't care about what others think,

     you DO!

You say you don't lie,
    
     you DO!

You say you don't feel lonely and torn up inside,

     you DO!

You say you want to live life with the people you are the closest
to until it's too late,

     you DO!

You say you want the pain to stop,

     you DO!

You say you want to end your life,

     you do.